There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
