It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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