pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
