Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
