Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
