Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
