You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
