Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize