So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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