Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
