One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
