is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
