I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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