Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
