she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
