sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
