kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
