apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
whose parrot is this?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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