I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
