Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
