yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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