I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
