There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
