whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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