The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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