New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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