i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
