some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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