Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
