what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize