i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
