mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
