you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
