scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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