They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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