Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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