Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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