I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
