idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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