Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
