So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
