it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
