He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
