I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
