watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
