Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
