coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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