NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
