No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize