Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
