The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
