GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
