My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
