everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
