He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
