no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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