I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
