they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
