Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
