bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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