Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
