Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
