Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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