rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
