Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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