I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize