the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
be right there i have to get my cape
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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