There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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