if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
