seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
NoShamevember. You game?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
