she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize