You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize