I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
