Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
