idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
