we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
