I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
