No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
