U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize