good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
