hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
