maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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