Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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