i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
everyone is single if you try hard enough
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
