Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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