i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
