I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
