He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
