it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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